Unsuccessful Queries

Saturday I shared, A Family Tradition. That story came about when I responded to a writing prompt on the Writing Exercise Board, back in 2007. One of the community leaders at the time, suggested the possibility of publishing it. So, earlier this year I bought a Writer's Market and researched potential publications. They all prefer to be queried. If they want the manuscript, they will ask for it later.

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I sent queried six different publications. Several online, via e-mail. Others via snail mail. None showed interest. I gave the first two the benefit of doubt. Maybe they'd seen or already had enough Christmas stories related to family traditions. No worries! When no one requested to see the story itself, I began to wonder whether I even nailed the query letter.

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It's not like I didn't research the requirements of a good query. But-- that I lack any true publishing credentials isn't exactly in my favor. After the first of the year I'll take a look through the handouts from Muse 2008, and see what I can glean from the workshops.

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Below is the actual query letter. Feel free to offer a critique if the notion strikes. I'm open to wizened observations.

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Blessings,

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Dear [Editor],
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Each family celebrates Christmas based on their own long-established traditions. I’d like to tell you how my mother and father took the wrapping and opening of packages to a grand level.
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My family has never been satisfied with the idea of a simple gift box, wrapping paper, and a bow. I grew up seeing a reproduction of a steam engine near the family Christmas tree, along with a battle ship, space shuttle, and an Apollo-style rock over the course of as many years. There were also follow-the-string and riddle games that took us all to task and throughout the whole of the house. We’ve all become experts with what I term bait-n-switch boxes, but when my father passed, it all changed. A Family Tradition was inspired by a gift to my brother-in-law; one that returned a very special memory of our father.
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When I shared an earlier draft with a former co-worker (to get a feel for how someone else would read my story), she wrote the most kind-hearted email, “I remember you telling stories of your Christmas traditions … and one Christmas I did do to a version of your game with the clues with my kids and my little nephew … it was so much fun.” I was so touched and surprised. I admitted, “I never knew (or shamefully forgot) that you’d tried some of our ideas.” To which she replied, “You didn’t know because I don’t think I ever told you. I just though it sounded so fun. I think wrapping a gift is so much of a waste, because most people don’t even look at it; they just start ripping at it. But, if you do something like what your family did, making it look ships and space rockets— that is so cool.”
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The length of A Family Tradition would run the standard 2000 – 3000 words. This query is being simultaneously submitted.
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I publish the following blogs: Soul Echoes, Soul Echoes – Quill of the Heart, and Diary of a Prisoner.
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Thank you for your consideration of this article. I hope to hear from you soon.
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Sincerely,