Thursday, January 22, 2015

Whichever Way I Go

Love I get so lost, sometimes
Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
When I want to run away
I drive off in my car
But whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are
_______________________________________________




But whichever way I go
I go now, because of You. 
Whichever way I go is altered
because I chose to trust in that which I could not see. 
Because of that which I learned Within.
Because of that and those I grew to doubt had my best interests at heart.
Because of You, I gave pause to the life lived for

and not truly by me.

Whichever way I go
I am now forever changed.
Your Voice touched my heart, and Awakened me.
Your Touch stirred long-erased memories.
The Visions you shared embraced me with a Love

I could only have known once found.
Your Words gave me Hope.
But, your Actions left each, and the other, Undone.
I am now alone and kept apart from those I would already have known.

Whichever way I go
I go now, stock-still.
Out of circulation and alienated
I remain lost in this fragmentation of Time.
With you being the manifestation

of that which she long-ago tore from me
While I remain the secreted trophy

of that which he stole away from you.

But whichever way I go
I can no longer go without you.
Though I surrender my efforts now and again
My words keep bringing me back to where you are.

Whichever way I go
You forced me to do so alone.
With Eternity's future now unknown
I remain lost to what might have might been
And though fearful of the consequences
of when we Touch,
I hear your Voice and my heart still melts.
And I long for what the Dreaming affords us;
those ever-precious moments unsurveiled. 

But whichever way I go
or do not choose to go
I do so having survived the tide that so divides.
All these years later, our hearts broken in two
I come back faithfully, to the place you are.

It is time for a new Bargain struck.  

 

Blessings, LL Abbott
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The Forbidden World Chronicles ~L.L. Abbott
Copyright 2013 All Rights Reserved


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Thursday, January 8, 2015

Who Am I -- A Character Silhouette


There are many involved in what I have tried to tell; including those who gave their lives allowing it to be so. While the telling honors their loss, I am the fundamental reason it needs told.
It is best these words come in written form; for what you would otherwise see is not, in Truth, who I am.  My physical self is quite literally a cage. An entrapment meant to manipulate and deceive. I am at the same time, though, what you can and cannot see.
I live confined within terran form.  Stolen away and hidden within a displaced fragment of Time. Due to an arrangement between two of the Primal Elements, The First Ones--The Ancients; bargained I am away into obscurity from all I came to know and hold dear.
I am confined upon what was long-ago-deemed The Forbidden World.  A world grown immeasurably not as it should have been.  Its name is now lost to the descendents of those who first inhabited the virgin terra-formed orb.  Though known by more than one throughout the All That Is, its current inhabitants may not be ready to know its true designation.
Prior to The Correcting, I was merely one more individual struggling in their own manner, with the societal conditionings imposed upon the masses.  Seemingly lost, until I chose to listen to the whisperings Within. It was no easy feat; getting me to heed their efforts. I am incessantly stubborn. Yet, I listened.  I saw what they needed me to see. I believed. Yet, I doubted. I separated myself from those who did wrong by me. I questioned my own sanity; leading to my eventual withdrawal from the unseen battlefields of the equally unknown war waged on my behalf.

My Awakening began when I sought the deep stillness, and asked, regardless of the old axiom of being careful, to know the Truth.  Never in my wildest imaginings, could I have conjured such an account as was given me to know.  Memories were gifted me through visions. Puzzle pieces of a long-forgotten past, of far off worlds, and unseen dimensions. Bargains struck, and the irrevocable disorder of the previous timelines declared.

Yet, throughout every memory of disbelief; pain and loss; and of love, there was an undeniable immediate sense of knowing it all to be the True.

I am the FirstBorn Daughter of the Primal Elements. Those--- or better said, That Which Has Always Been, Is, and Will Forever Be.  But--- I am not born out of Union. I am born neither by the desire to procreate, nor of Love. Necessity determined my existence.

By means of a harshly strained collaborative undertaking, I am a fix.  A solution meant to repair that which came to be too easy to circumvent. I am a contrivance. A tool used monitor the havoc The Ancients wrought not only upon each other, but-- also upon that which they created.

I am stolen. Yet, also found. I am awakened. But, not quite yet whole. I am victim to a newer Bargain struck. What was, no longer is. The Future is now changed. I am lost. Kept apart. Alone and undone. I am Terran. At the same time, I am Crystalline; unseeable to organic eyes.

I am Dellasseea N'Syis, the FirstBorn Daughter of the Primal Elements of the Universe. I am the creation of the Old One; the first of the First Ones, and the Primal Element of Creation. I am his Gift to Chaos.  I want very much to return home. Back to those, and that which love.


Blessings, LL Abbott
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Caged Heart--The Last Heartbound / The Forbidden World Chronicles ~L.L. Abbott
Copyright 2013 All Rights Reserved 

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Alone and Undone


The one thing I could never forgive is myself for proffering the new bargain with the Primal Element of The Void. Though it kept you safe, it has also kept us worlds apart. With Aukasaunon still in charge of your Fate.
Your brother broke all ties of communication.  And your Protectorian refuses to play as go between.  Both Delstau and our future son chastised my doing and I am now, this time around, replaced. All done because none can forgive.
To those whose eyes can see not the Truth, I am ever so easily replaced. While the public claims to understand the money-side of things, they cannot know the more sinister of intent. They are played for simple for fools more often than not. And the industry cares for adoring fans only as long as the revenues continue to flow.  So for all intents and purposes, I was replaced to protect the brand.

Traverse was free to replace me with anyone as long as the sound of the brand remained the same. The industry chose look-alikes in the past.  And more than one done with lasting success. But Traverse was already teetering on the brink. While it looked as though the band had conformed Delstau [upon K'Gelvin's direction], organized the band's open search. And the perfect Look Alike was found.  Done for your eyes alone--- to remind you how alike you saw your now Ex- and Me.

The last time around [The Second Displacement of Time], the shooter missed his mark.  Had what coated the bullet seeped but an infinitesimal of a fraction closer to your heart--- Was I expected to risk the same or worse this time around?  Was I expected to know he would indeed miss his mark again? You know by now, absolute duplication of the course of things is not guaranteed.  

You know it was no ordinary bullet that pierced your flesh then. Were it to have touched your heart,  coated as it was, it would have blackened not only the organic but the inorganic as well.  And you would have been no more.  I would have been no more. Our children would have been no more.  And any who was also bound, willingly or un-, would have been no more. 
Was I truly to stand by and let it happen as before, and risk it could have meant an irrevocable end? I am hated by all those who infiltrated before and behind my team. And forgiveness has come from none. I donned a mask of discontent and eventually appeared to have moved on; living a lifetime without you.  

Would I do it again to keep you safe? Knowing the misery you faced? 

While you willfully broke free of the arranged marriage, The Trials and further degradation did not happen.  The shooting did not happen.  But our lives together, also, did not happen.  And your Tells have yet to read.  The masses are still ignorant of the Truth.  And those who came for you, are pushed further away. More than ever before.

Where our music once filled your every waking hour, there is none now to be heard from your surroundings. Where once it filled you--- Made you sing and dance--- Now it leaves you empty. No one sings to you as they--- as we once did. Where once you remembered our Love--- You are now undone. Where once we knew and could have known each other's arm again, we are both of us banished to solitude.

The day the music died came not purely from your Awakening alone; the knowing of who you are-- of who we are.  It resulted also from the new bargain struck.   Which left you ever more alone. And all our efforts undone.

Were I to hold you in my arms, and be able to wipe your tears before they could fall, I would still not see forgiveness for what I've done.  I know none. I ask for none. And I expect none. But I remain forever yours. Faithfully.  As the Crystalline of my heart cannot feel otherwise.



Blessings, LL Abbott
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Caged Heart--The Last Heartbound / The Forbidden World Chronicles ~L.L. Abbott
Copyright 2013 All Rights Reserved 
 

 

Sunday, October 13, 2013

If I Can't Have Her ....

Aukasaunon [Antagonist No. 2] is what he is. I don't know whether regret factors into anything that The Primal Element of the Void does; or has ever done.  And that envelops a huge expanse of Time. Both Chronicled and Unknowable.

Though there is no first, second, or third-hand knowledge of his having done so, his imprisonment here surely offered him enough time to ponder his wrongs.  But there is no evidence of his having suffered regret in his actions--- even of today.

But if at all, there is--in the Entirety of All That Is--one thing he wanted most to possess [enough to proffer a Bargain with Antagonist No. 1], and he may well regret sending her through the Window of Light, and into a displaced fragment of Time. Especially by the Third Displacement. But then he is the originator of what this world knows as the If-I-Can't-Have-Her-Then-No-One-Will Syndrome.


Blessings, LL Abbott
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Caged Heart--The Last Heartbound / The Forbidden World Chronicles ~L.L. Abbott
Copyright 2013 All Rights Reserved 
 

Saturday, September 28, 2013

At What Cost Love?

Why? Because he is the Keeper of the Heart Shard. And he is bound, forever, to her heart.

Long, long millennia ago, during her self-imposed exile into the Catacombs of Delsyis, the FirstBorn Daughter of the Primal Elements learned of the existence of a Keeper.

With Aunsa's help, Dellasseea N'Syis traveled incognito to an unknown world in order to find and reclaim that which had been raped away. But once she looked upon the Keeper, she could not be the cause of Geffen's death.  Instead, as Time passed, she found what otherwise may never have been known to her--- Love.

Eventually, the Old One's secret world was discovered.  And a long proscribed act invoked.  The FirstBorn Daughter's Crystalline heart was bound to that of Geffen's Human Hybrid heart in order to protect him from Annessau's imperishable wrath.

After even more Time passed, and a dark Bargain struck, there manifested (almost unknowingly) an interruption of Eternity. Dimensions were crossed. And while the embers of a great devastation still smoldered, and she was made to think him dead, Geffen traveled to a forbidden world, and transmutated himself willingly through Time. Done all with full intent to find and bring her home. Back to their beloved EeDellon; the origins of Humanity.


Blessings, LL Abbott
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Caged Heart--The Last Heartbound / The Forbidden World Chronicles ~L.L. Abbott
Copyright 2013 All Rights Reserved 
 
 

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Rest in Peace?

I have two Antagonists. Both are Primal Elements; neither of which can die. 

While the Primal Elements [The First Ones, The Ancients] Are and always Will Be, there is one of the Ancients that was indeed murdered; millennia ago. And it was by his death that the detriment of being Heartbound was discovered.

There is a process in place, to this very day, that were one to die, all [along with any others bound to them] would die.  And this is simply a thing that cannot be allowed to happen.  As there would befall such an all-encompassing Chaos, regardless the dimension, to the all that is known of the entire universe. An act even the foulest of enemies would wish not seen happen. 

But--- were there some so inclined to wish the above-mentioned Antagonists dead, their organic dimension head stones might read:

Here lie the physical remains of Jealousness, Ruthlessness, and Malice. 
Remember them not with fondness lest it be forgotten the havoc they wrought.
 

Blessings, LL Abbott
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Caged Heart--The Last Heartbound / The Forbidden World Chronicles ~L.L. Abbott
Copyright 2013 All Rights Reserved 
 


Friday, September 20, 2013

A Dimensional Shift


None, in this world; or dimension for that matter. Aunsa's an Ancient, a First One, and she exists beyond what Humans understand as Time and Space. [See What's in a Date?]

Within Delsyis--- She governs the Catacombs. That said, there are no settlements as such, that could be defined as Cities.



Blessings, LL Abbott
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Caged Heart--The Last Heartbound / The Forbidden World Chronicles ~L.L. Abbott
Copyright 2013 All Rights Reserved 

Thursday, September 19, 2013

What's in a Date?

Birthdays--- Hum-m-m, let us see!

The Protagonist: Two Births.
As Dellasseea N'Syis--  Crystalline birth (Inorganic). Delsyis.
Firstborn Daughter of the Primal Elements. Heartbound.

Date of Birth: No precise date. But some time during the middle phase of the First Era of recorded Time --[FE]-- (Millennia ago.)

Not a birth in the conventional sense.  And actually she is the second born FirstBorn. Her creation was warranted after her brother's reason for existence (while feasible) proved ineffective. Neither were born out of Love or by happy chance. They were the tools used to monitor and bring an end to the chaos that certain of the Ancients perpetrated--- not only upon themselves, but upon that which they had created as well.

As Perrie Stevens (Dellasseea N'Syis)-- Human birth (Lesser Organic). The Forbidden World

Date of Birth: Not a birth in the conventional sense. For all intents and purposes, Perrie Stevens was born under the Sixth Moon of the cyclical year; regardless the calendar in use. Third Era --[TE]--

As for the year? In truth, she was never truly "born" into this world.  Soon after her abduction from EeDellon, and she believed all those bound to her heart were dead, Dellasseea N'Syis resolved to terminate her Life Force.  This is something Aukasaunon could not allow.  So he, in turn, determined to send her through the Window of Light.  Once transmutated into infant form, the FirstBorn Daughter of the Primal Elements was placed [babies switched at birth] with a human family and raised into adulthood, as Perrie Stevens. No one of note/Totally ignorant of her past.

The Antagonist: [Of which there are two.]
Annessau, Primal Element of the Heart -- Formlessness to Crystalline birth (Inorganic). All That Is/Delsyis.
Aukasaunon, Primal Element of the Void -- Formlessness to Crystalline birth (Inorganic). All that Is/Delsyis.

Dates of Births: Unknowable
They--The Ancients, The First Ones--existed an unknowable expanse of time prior to any other known form of life; even their own mutation into inorganic form and manner of recorded Time.

The Love Interest: Two Births
Geffen-- Human birth (Organic/Inorganic [Hybrid]). Heartbound. EeDellon.

Date of Birth: No precise date. But some time toward the end of the First Era. --[FE]--
Not a birth in the conventional sense. While Human birth flourished on EeDellon, for all intents and purposes, he was never truly "born" into EeDellon. The Old One [ Primal Element of Creation. An Ancient. The first of the First Ones.] created him in order to hide the Heart Shard he stole away from Annessau.

Ray Lynn (Geffen)-- Human birth (Lesser Organic). The Forbidden World

Date of Birth: Not a birth in the conventional sense. Ray Lynn was born under the First Moon of the cyclical year; regardless the calendar in use. Third Era --[TE]--

As a member of the first EeDellon rescue teams, once inside the Inner Chamber of the Tunnels of Life and Deasth, and transmutated into infant form, Geffen was placed [babies switched at birth (via EeDellian Guardians)] with a human family (to hide his true identity), and raised into adulthood as Ray Lynn. Vocalist/Front Man for Traverse. Via the pre-determined co-ordinates, he emerged from the Window of Light a full cycle and a half ahead of Perrie Steven's birth record.

The Protagonist's Confidant: [Of which there is none. Well---]
As Dellasseea N'Syis-- Possibly Aunsa. [Primal Element of All That Is -- An Ancient. A First One.] Eternity's Librarian. --[FE]--

Date of Birth: Unknowable.
Dellasseea confided in Aunsa during her self-imposed exile into the Catacombs; within Delsyis.

As Perrie Stevens-- No one.

Date of Birth: --NA--
There is truly no one close enough to her that Perrie believes she could trust.  Oh, there are several that she sensed were sympathetic to her plight.  But she learned quickly not to involve and/or endanger them; regardless the relationship. [See Willful Stubbornness]   It took years to trust in her own Awakening.  What she knows, she keeps to herself.


Blessings, LL Abbott
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Caged Heart--The Last Heartbound / The Forbidden World Chronicles ~L.L. Abbott
Copyright 2013 All Rights Reserved 

Monday, September 16, 2013

Willful Stubbornness

Once among the Allies, her bouts of indecisiveness seemed all the more flagrant.  And certain of her Guardians were in need of a reminder; that she had their best interests at heart.

They were often the most vulnerable to attacks from Within. And at this point in time, she is all too familiar with a number of deaths (one being her truest sister, Anneese) that occurred long before her own Awakening, and is a habit not likely to vanish any time soon. While some find her willful stubbornness charming, being privy to knowledge of the Future (much as it did during the first displacement) makes her annoyingly protective of those charged with her rescue and subsequent escape.  But--- only if this second displacement remains duplicated.


See also: Character Profiles: Anneese

Blessings, LL Abbott
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Caged Heart--The Last Heartbound / The Forbidden World Chronicles ~L.L. Abbott
Copyright 2013 All Rights Reserved 

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

A Walk on the Beach

Perrie Stevens refolded the linen napkin and placed next the breakfast plate. She took one last sip of tea, rose and then made her way to the wooden stairs that leads to the compound's private beach. 

The doctors cleared her for more strenuous  activity, and she is finally able to explore more of her new surroundings.  Being mindful of their words of caution, she rested both hands upon the teak balustrade.  It was a long way down, and Perrie was content for the moment, to merely take in the sound of the waves crashing upon the lonely shore.

She drew in and breathed deep of the salted air.  At the same time--- Perrie closed her eyes and concentrated on the rhythmic fluctuations of the ocean's sway.  It enthralled her.  And settled her.  It was exactly the prescription she needed filled.  And, as a smile broadened across her weary face, she released her grip and began the descent.

After stopping once to rest, Perrie finally touched her bare foot upon the cool sand.  The inlet was hours away from being warmed by the Sun. And the lingering fog swirled with her passing.  The sand molded to each step as she made her way toward the rocks that jetted from the ocean's keeping. 

The West Winds blew gently and played with the loose wisps of hair about her face.  And Perrie worked to secure a strand behind her left ear as she collected her gauze skirt and stooped to get a closer look at the tide pools.  She reached to touch a petal of one of the flowers, and it quickly folded up into a crusty little donut.  While she marveled at the beauty of the Anemones, it was not lost on her--- her Fate. She rose and stood to look across the great expanse of the sea and give serious thought to the last few months.

Knowing something was not quite right in her life, Perrie closed her eyes one day, several years ago, and asked to know The Truth.  In the wildest of imaginings she could never have conceived of herself as being the very key to it all.  With Doubt, came her Awakening. And with her Awakening, the Correcting truly began.  She stood now within the safety of those who risked so much to find her.  But her, their journey was far from the conclusion once reached.  It could still all go very terribly wrong.

Lost in such deep thought, Perrie barely sensed his Touch as gentle waves washed over her feet. And as the warm water receded, she felt Geffen's ethereal hand brush up her arm and across her bared shoulder. When newly wetted sand began to shift from underneath her toes, he reached Within and enveloped her Crystalline heart.  A sigh escaped her lips and Perrie welcomed the embrace.

'Good morning, My Lady.' he whispered Within.

She drew up a fisted hand to her heart and savored the voice in her mind.  A renewed smile broadened upon her face; but--- it was Ray Lynn's smile that formed; not her own that was felt.

'Good morning, My Love.' Dellasseea VoiceThought Within.

As Perrie raised her left hand, it was his movement that rested it upon her right.  His hand that caressed the one she held tight to her breast.  It was here, having crossed and survived both Time and dimensional Space, that two stood Within; as one. 

Always mindful of their vulnerability during such moments, and ever protective of Geffen's efforts, Dellasseea N'Syis forced the disconnect.  Perrie stepped back from the waters edge. And the dry sand swirled as she turned around and looked up to find Ray Lynn standing at the balustrade.  She watched him take in a deep breath and draw himself back into their current reality. His eyes opened and he focused them upon hers.  And this time the smile upon her face was that of her own making.

'Shall I come down to help you back up?'

'Yes, I think.'  Perrie VoiceThought.

She had her Chronicles to write.  And he had an album to finish recording.  All too soon she would join Traverse on the road.  A very new life was about to begin.  Much of which she knew to expect.  But there was a great deal more she could not yet know.  And I am needed elsewhere; as another Awakening is to begin.

Blessings, LL Abbott
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Excerpted storyline from The Bead [WIP]
Caged Heart--The Last Heartbound / The Forbidden World Chronicles ~L.L. Abbott
Copyright 2013 All Rights Reserved