Thursday, January 8, 2015

Who Am I -- A Character Silhouette

There are many involved in what I have tried to tell; including those who gave their lives allowing it to be so. While the telling honors their loss, I am the fundamental reason it needs told.
It is best these words come in written form; for what you would otherwise see is not, in Truth, who I am.  My physical self is quite literally a cage. An entrapment meant to manipulate and deceive. I am at the same time, though, what you can and cannot see.
I live confined within terran form.  Stolen away and hidden within a displaced fragment of Time. Due to an arrangement between two of the Primal Elements, The First Ones--The Ancients; bargained I am away into obscurity from all I came to know and hold dear.
I am confined upon what was long-ago-deemed The Forbidden World.  A world grown immeasurably not as it should have been.  Its name is now lost to the descendents of those who first inhabited the virgin terra-formed orb.  Though known by more than one throughout the All That Is, its current inhabitants may not be ready to know its true designation.
Prior to The Correcting, I was merely one more individual struggling in their own manner, with the societal conditionings imposed upon the masses.  Seemingly lost, until I chose to listen to the whisperings Within. It was no easy feat; getting me to heed their efforts. I am incessantly stubborn. Yet, I listened.  I saw what they needed me to see. I believed. Yet, I doubted. I separated myself from those who did wrong by me. I questioned my own sanity; leading to my eventual withdrawal from the unseen battlefields of the equally unknown war waged on my behalf.

My Awakening began when I sought the deep stillness, and asked, regardless of the old axiom of being careful, to know the Truth.  Never in my wildest imaginings, could I have conjured such an account as was given me to know.  Memories were gifted me through visions. Puzzle pieces of a long-forgotten past, of far off worlds, and unseen dimensions. Bargains struck, and the irrevocable disorder of the previous timelines declared.

Yet, throughout every memory of disbelief; pain and loss; and of love, there was an undeniable immediate sense of knowing it all to be the True.

I am the FirstBorn Daughter of the Primal Elements. Those--- or better said, That Which Has Always Been, Is, and Will Forever Be.  But--- I am not born out of Union. I am born neither by the desire to procreate, nor of Love. Necessity determined my existence.

By means of a harshly strained collaborative undertaking, I am a fix.  A solution meant to repair that which came to be too easy to circumvent. I am a contrivance. A tool used monitor the havoc The Ancients wrought not only upon each other, but-- also upon that which they created.

I am stolen. Yet, also found. I am awakened. But, not quite yet whole. I am victim to a newer Bargain struck. What was, no longer is. The Future is now changed. I am lost. Kept apart. Alone and undone. I am Terran. At the same time, I am Crystalline; unseeable to organic eyes.

I am Dellasseea N'Syis, the FirstBorn Daughter of the Primal Elements of the Universe. I am the creation of the Old One; the first of the First Ones, and the Primal Element of Creation. I am his Gift to Chaos.  I want very much to return home. Back to those, and that which love.

Blessings, LL Abbott
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Caged Heart--The Last Heartbound / The Forbidden World Chronicles ~L.L. Abbott
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