To What End?

As I stated a little while back-- I pulled it all out and boxed up every last folder, index card, and handwritten scrap of paper dealing with my Chronicles storyline.  I took action on it again because of a kind bit of encouragement; but-- feel as though I've been talking to the air ever since.  But likely the most egregious act so far is the self doubt talk rambling through my brain. Though it wasn't Doubt that made me put it all away a few years back.  Quite the contrary. 

The other day I scrolled upon a Facebook post regarding NaNoWriMo's current summer endeavor, and mulled it over for the next day or so.  Yesterday I took the plunge and signed up.  Ever since, "To what end?" has been screamed and echoed through my brain matter.  I was actually feeling happy, around this same time, about being able to get back to some of my hand spinning. It had fallen completely by the way during the months of getting this year's gardening started.  But now since it is more in a state of maintenance, I thought that I could physically resume the twirl of my drop spindles again. 

I have busied myself with many creative projects of late.  And only rarely have I missed any form of writing; though I do tend to wax poetic with my Facebook Status updates on occasion.  But as I indicated a month or so back, I'd come to peaceable terms with giving up my prose.  It almost seems I'm punishing myself by pulling it all back out.  But there is also a depth to it that I miss. 

"To what end?"

That is indeed the question. And it would seem I cannot know the answer until I find it out. 

Blessings, LL Abbott