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The one thing I could never forgive is myself for proffering the new bargain with the Primal Element of The Void. Though it kept you safe, it has also kept us worlds apart. With Aukasaunon still in charge of your Fate.
Your brother broke all ties of communication. And your Protectorian refuses to play as go between. Both Delstau and our future son chastised my doing and
I am now, this time around, replaced. All done because none can forgive.
To those whose eyes can see not the Truth, I am ever so easily
replaced. While the public claims to understand the money-side of things,
they cannot know the more sinister of
intent. They are played for simple for fools more often than not. And the industry cares for adoring fans only as long as the revenues continue to flow. So for all intents and purposes, I was replaced to protect the brand.Traverse was free to replace me with anyone as long as the sound of the brand remained the same. The industry chose look-alikes in the past. And more than one done with lasting success. But Traverse was already teetering on the brink. While it looked as though the band had conformed Delstau [upon K'Gelvin's direction], organized the band's open search. And the perfect Look Alike was found. Done for your eyes alone--- to remind you how alike you saw your now Ex- and Me.
The last time around [The Second Displacement of Time], the shooter missed his mark. Had what coated the bullet seeped but an infinitesimal of a fraction closer to your heart--- Was I expected to risk the same or worse this time around? Was I expected to know he would indeed miss his mark again? You know by now, absolute duplication of the course of things is not guaranteed.
You know it was no ordinary bullet that pierced your flesh then. Were it to have touched your heart, coated as it was, it would have blackened not only the organic but the inorganic as well. And you would have been no more. I would have been no more. Our children would have been no more. And any who was also bound, willingly or un-, would have been no more.
Was I truly to stand by and let it happen as before, and risk it could have meant an irrevocable end? I am hated by all those who infiltrated before and behind my team. And forgiveness has come from none. I donned a mask of discontent and eventually appeared to have moved on; living a lifetime without you. Would I do it again to keep you safe? Knowing the misery you faced?
While you willfully broke free of the arranged marriage, The Trials and further degradation did not happen. The shooting did not happen. But our lives together, also, did not happen. And your Tells have yet to read. The masses are still ignorant of the Truth. And those who came for you, are pushed further away. More than ever before.
The day the music died came not purely from your Awakening alone; the knowing of who you are-- of who we are. It resulted also from the new bargain struck. Which left you ever more alone. And all our efforts undone.
Were I to hold you in my arms, and be able to wipe your tears before they could fall, I would still not see forgiveness for what I've done. I know none. I ask for none. And I expect none. But I remain forever yours. Faithfully. As the Crystalline of my heart cannot feel otherwise.
Blessings, LL Abbott
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